First looks aren’t exactly traditional. While superstition dictates that the groom should not see the bride for 24 hours prior to her walk down the aisle, modern couples are turning that on its head and opting to share a private moment together before the ceremony.

In making the decision to opt in or out of the experience, photographer TahJah Harmony of Quaint + Whim Photography suggests considering what it adds to the flow of your big day.

“If you want a lot of bride and groom photos, it is often best to do the first look,” she explains. “That way, you can get that out of the way before the ceremony and have more time to enjoy your reception.”

And if you’re worried about the groom not having that heart-stopping reaction two times around: think again.

“In my experience, grooms cry more at the first look, and they usually cry both times,” says Harmony. “I think because it is such a private moment, away from the pressure of friends and family, guys feel OK to be more vulnerable.”

Since a wedding day can be filled with stress and nerves, Harmony notes that a moment alone for the bride and groom can be just what they need to go into the ceremony feeling their absolute best. Plus, your groom has the chance to tell you just how beautiful you are before you are met with hoards of onlooking guests.

“It helps the two most important people get some stress out,” Harmony explains. “I think because of that, everything about the day can start to feel more natural. I love capturing things like the bride spinning in her dress for the groom. That’s something you can’t get at the altar.”

To learn more about Harmony, check out her work in this wedding from last year’s inRegister Weddings issue, or visit her website here.