How eczema led me to self-love, vulnerability and community
When I think about the worst parts of my eczema journey, traumatic flashbacks play in my mind like a horror movie. Hiding piles of skin flakes under my desk from a scratch attack at work, bloody sheets and scratch marks scattered across my body like a cat’s play toy were the version of eczema my doctors never prepared me for. My heart aches thinking about when I couldn’t look in the mirror because I didn’t recognize the thin, hyperpigmented and leathery-skinned woman staring back at me with sad eyes.
When I first learned about eczema, a condition that affects more than 223 million people and causes dry, itchy and inflamed skin, I was told most children grew out of it. That wasn’t the case for me. I was 24 years old and decided to stop using topical steroid creams, the standard of care that was no longer effective. Desperate for answers, I discovered a community of eczema warriors on Instagram who naturally healed their skin through holistic practices.
I experimented with my diet, alternative medicines and natural moisturizers and watched my body, mental health and well-being decline. The eczema went from growing patches to consuming my entire body. This was Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW). I lost the ability to sweat, regulate my body temperature and grow eyebrows. As a model, social media influencer and storyteller, I could no longer stand to see photos of myself. Who I felt I was on the inside no longer matched my outer expression.
Detached, numb and broken, I started an Instagram page in 2019 to document my healing journey. With support from online friends, I felt less alone and had a reason to keep pushing. While I didn’t realize it then, every post I made represented a seed in the garden of opportunities I would experience thanks to my eczema.
In 2021, I was featured on the National Eczema Association’s magazine cover and secured a partnership with a major pharmaceutical company to spread awareness about eczema. In 2022, at my first Eczema Expo, I met other eczema and TSW warriors whose souls ached with shared pain, communicating an unspoken connection.
As I sit at my local Barnes & Noble, days after speaking at the 2024 Eczema Expo, heartwarming memories outshine traumatizing flashbacks. Now, I think of happy couples made of eczema sufferers and their supportive caregivers, smiling people who lit up the dance floor, pushing through their skin flares, and beautiful Black women with textured hands.
The doctors may not have prepared me for the hard parts of eczema, but they didn’t know about the best parts either. My cup is filled from the hours of conversations, heart-to-hearts, and tears I shared with people who never asked for this condition but continue living despite it. So when my hands start to itch and my mind starts to wander, I think of the joy I feel when surrounded by fellow eczema warriors and remember I have eczema, but eczema does not have me.
Follow along on Cynthea’s eczema journey at @cyntheacorfah on Instagram.
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